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12 Days of Chillmas (Vol. 5)

by Chillwavve Records

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1.
There are joys that I never knew I could experience felt vicariously through the growth of your family. Seeing a little you puts a smile on me. I see the ways they’re courageous and carry on your spirit. They’ve got that fight to make a difference. I know that you can feel it, too. Can you feel it? Yeah I feel it.
2.
Shits been tough and that’s for sure But soon enough we’ll get through November Dont you worry dont you fret Cus for what its worth I hope you dont forget I know well make it through Christmas this year Shiny gold boys aint got nothin to fear We’ve all come so far along But we’re still sleeping in, writing dumbass pop songs And what’s a song without a hook Got so many now could probably fill a book I know well make it through Christmas this year Shiny gold boys aint got nothin to fear
3.
You, You’re tired of us that doesn’t excuse the way you left you were consumed by all your friends in henry And he, He’s falling apart He’s just a shell of what you knew he needs an excuse to go outside and get some sun So please, Stay in touch I’ll try not to fester all your sins i’ll do my best to let you live as you are You say “Let’s wait a little longer” we’re not getting any younger you got a new number and the basements getting colder you, you’re playing the part your hat says you’re local born and raised did it take all of your pride to stay away? and he, He’s taking the bus headed to the job you know he hates to pay for the book i swear to god you never read so please, remember us i know we’re all artists just the same but you’ll do whatever that it takes to make it big
4.
Noël, Noël, Noël, Noël again? Noël again, reluctant to care. Always around, but never really there. You’d rather lay low instead, hope Santa hits his head. Skips out a whole year, disappointing all his reindeer. Or maybe This year You’ll give in Be full of cheer Noël, Noël, Noël, Noël again? Noël, Noël, Noël, Noël again? Noël again, you said you hate this times ten. Twelve days is too many, when you can’t find it within. You’d rather sleep in, then split And hope jolly Old Saint Nick Skips out a whole year, disappointing his other reindeer Or maybe This year You’ll give in Be full of cheer Noël, Noël, Noël, Noël again? Noël, Noël, Noël, Noël again? Noël, Noël, Noël, Noël again? Noël, Noël, Noël, Noël again?
5.
Don’t tell me what to think about I guess I gotta think about All this shit that seems so made up I’m a fucker letting people down And people always fizzle out And all this shit just seems so made up And to me it Seems so obvious If you could just smell my breath right now You’d know I don’t really wanna give up If you could just smell my breath right now You’d know I don’t really wanna give up If you could invert me inside out You’d know that I’ve never had it too rough If you could just smell my breath right now I bet you’d recommend new stuff
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I really can't stay. (Baby, it's cold outside.) I've got to go away. (Baby, it's cold outside.) This evening has been… (Hoping that you'd drop in…) …so, very nice. (I'll hold your hands. They’re just like ice.) My mother will start to worry (Beautiful, what's your hurry?) My father will be pacing the floor… (Listen to that fireplace roar.) …so really I'd better scurry… (Beautiful, what’s your hurry?) … but maybe just a half a drink more. (I'll put some records on while I pour.) The neighbors might think. (Baby, it's bad out there.) What’s in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there.) I wish I knew how… (Your eyes are like starlight now.) …to break this spell. (I'll take your hat. Your hair looks swell.) I ought to say, "No, no, girl.” (Mind if I move in closer?) At least I'm gonna say that I tried. (What's the sense in hurting my pride?) I really can't stay. (Baby, don't hold out.) Baby, it's cold outside. Merry Christmas to the ones who like me. Wait, that’s no one. Mistletoe’s no fun when you’re stuck, twiddle thumb, in the kitchen corner. Thrashed on egg nog. Could somebody fill my cup once again? Finna get fucked up. Now that’s a motherfucking Christmas party. It’s Christmas Eve, and I’m stuck inside of my head. I’m all alone in this home by myself once again. This shit sucks so bad. I want to go out and get fucked up again, but what good’s the effort when you come home colder than snow? There’s a gingerbread man in my drink. Holy fucking Santa balls, that’s forty levels of fucked up. This shit’s a Pilsner. It’s not your mocha, Coco Puff bullshit. I can’t have one good thing for Christmas. Oh, shit, I turn 30 in 11 days. They say you stay the same from here to the grave. Guess I’m stuck as this sad twig, crunchy and sans wit, dissecting words like a surgeon cutting corners. I’m singin’ myself to sleep. Got me all weak, these emo beats, comparting the soul into three. Santa Claus ain’t gonna save me. Shake it up, my little snow globe brain. I got enough coal to last me a thousand days. Nobody hears me, not even with pointed ears, so here’s a jolly fuck you and happy New Years
13.
I spent last winter sleeping in / between restless shifts and the festive season is something I no longer miss and I hate this but as far as my arm can reach to / turn on my dusty TV I'll stay planted here in bed I made another fake email / to try watch some films limping like running a three-legged race and popping back pain pills but I'll leave it to future me / to forget and cough up the bill / when I really haven't got the money but it doesn't matter to me / flashback to when I was 14 I spent the winter / sick in bed watching Batman on TV and you stuck with me oh if you can be my Selina Kyle we can pretend we're not behind our masks for awhile if you steal the cash and then I take it back just as long as we're both back in time for bed and my / life needs a bit of mystery do you think / you could show me? pencil to paper, put my anxious-growing-pain-long-limbs to use back when I had the time to do anything productive but now I refuse so I'll spend all of my free time awake at night just hoping to find / a reason to go back to sleep they say that mistletoe can be deadly / if you eat it but a kiss / can be even deadlier if you mean it oh I mean it if you can be my Selina Kyle we can pretend we're not behind our masks for awhile if you steal the cash and then I take it back just as long as we're both back in time for bed and my / life needs a bit of mystery do you think / you could show me?

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released December 25, 2022

art by lochy

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